Be Honest With Yourself

It's been a tumultuous couple of weeks. A lot of things have recently been put into perspective for me. We are fragile.... our bodies and minds. One mistake or many once we go too far we can rarely take it back. There is only moving forward beyond the hurt, and to figure out how next time WILL be different. This life we only live once.

Single dad has been mostly silent. We hung out twice in the last two weeks for a little bit. We didn't stay the night, and he seemed a bit dismayed about that. I on the other hand am more than happy. He's not right for me; I'm not going to convince myself that he is. I deserve more and I will not settle.

With Single Dad I told him exactly how I felt when he asked me. I was honest and vulnerable. As I know now, he was not quite the same with me, and I am glad I have stuck to being friends with no benefits. We make much better friends than anything else. He is still working on his issues and I believe he drinks a bottle of denial each and every night!

It amazes me how self-indulgent/self centered a person can be. Single dad made some reference to sex last week and I replied that he should take care of himself in the shower (I was the only one who thought it was funny...ha-ha still do) He was so convinced that I was still into him, despite me telling him that I went out with a very hot younger man the night before or maybe it was because I told him about that date. Maybe he was just trying to convince himself?

Anyways, I am in agreement with Aussie Gal.... nice guys do still exist. They are however rare. I am starting to feel a bit old. And most guys my age (or a bit younger/older) seem complicated. They've either been married and are now divorced, have babies with multiple women, have kids but never see them, have severe commitment issues and could never be in a relationship long enough to even get married, or are so lonely that they constantly contact you and plead for you to go out with them or they think they are still in high school and want to act like a player. Then there are the nice guys, just as there are nice girls. It's just a matter of taking your time, being honest, patient, and going for what you really want and not settling for anything less.

Hot Mama


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