Dating with Kids

Things seem to be moving forward. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. My past and what will soon be the past helps make me who I am today. Each relationship is different. I have never thought that "all men are the same". I have never entered a relationship expecting (or believing) it will turn out the same as previous ones. Though, I have recently had interactions with people that hold those beliefs. I honestly don't get it. Some people just can't let go of getting hurt in the past. Until you really examine yourself, your values, who you are and what you really want out of life and love you will keep recreating the same vicious cycle of relationships that don't give you want you need and want and in the end fall apart.

So what if you've been cheated on, don't enter a new relationship and then be so paranoid that you look at your partner with a microscope and try to find things that don't make sense and accuse them of cheating. Instead if you have been cheated on, especially if you were cheated on by multiple ex's LOOK AT YOURSELF!!! What is driving these people to cheat on you, what is wrong with you, why did you start a relationship with them, why did you stay and what was missing in those relationships???

I personally have had trust issues in the past. I was a young adult entering relationships, letting myself be "chosen" by someone and then sticking it out way too long even when I discovered neither of us could give eachother what we needed. After a few of those I did a lot of over thinking, reading and writing. I then chose to not get over involved emotionally. I decided I could get most of what I wanted and needed without becoming attached which honestly was a lot of fun, but it led me to "the one that got away". I had found someone that truly liked me for who I was and he wanted some of the emotion he may have wanted more I don't know because I held back. I played it cool, I didn't tell him know how I felt or what I really wanted out of the relationship.

On to the present. The single dad that I met ended up breaking up with his girlfriend. Actually I think she broke up with him because he was honest and told her that he had kissed someone else (me). So we've had a lot of playdates for the kids, we've had sleepovers and we even took all 5 kids out the other night for dinner, video games, bumper cars and lots of sugar. Our kids get along great, they're all BFF's and us adults get along well too. We parent pretty good together, we've cleaned house, had a few snowball fights and are starting to try and learn more about each other beyond our children and parenting.

Things are good. He wants to know more about me, I'm scared. I'm feeling a little lost, my kids are my life! Who am I and what do I like? I know who I was before kids, and that girl doesn't exist anymore. I don't skateboard or longboard anymore, I don't go on adventures in the forest hiking up mountains to natural hot springs, I don't go to concerts (unless they are outdoor and kid-friendly and on a weekend!) There are plenty of things that I like to do, but don't get to do anymore. So where does that leave me? Am I just a mom, who does all things in the best interest of the kids and nothing for herself?

Hot Mama

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