The Edge of Reason

Learning how to overcome a breakup will help you be happy again and heal from heartache. To move on after breaking up, you need to focus on healing and recovering – not ruminating or obsessing! These ways to heal heartache and move on after a relationship breakup are based on many questions from readers, who often ask about losing someone they love. (This may not work, but what would it hurt to give it a try?)

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” ~ Anonymous

Ending a relationship hurts, even when you know you’re no good together. And just because it hurts to break up, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to stay together! A broken relationship may leave shards of glass behind…and you may need to walk away. Below are a few ways I read online, and make a lot of sense. We have all been here, and getting back on our feet is necessary to have another relationship.
1. Own your actions – you can take control. I know how hard it is, but taking control, finding your inner strength, and not responding when he contacts you or you want to contact him is one of the best ways to overcome a breakup. You need to take ownership over your life.
2. Listen to what he says, but believe what he does..” If your ex-boyfriend says he can’t get back together with you, believe him. He may say he loves you — and he may truly love you — but if he really wanted to be with you, he would be with you. If he says he isn’t in love with you anymore, you need to focus on other – better – parts of your life. You must accept what he says and move on. Yes, I know it’s difficult….but the sooner you can pull yourself together and overcome the breakup, the happier you’ll be.
3. Stop focusing on your problems, and what you can’t do. Maybe you can’t talk to your friends about the breakup, can’t contact a counselor for professional help, and can’t understand why you can’t heal your heartache and move on. Well, what CAN you do? What steps can you take towards your goals in life? Your first step is to figure out what your short and long-term goals are. Where do you want to be in one month, three months, six months, and a year? Write those down. Then, underneath each goal (for instance, “feel happier and more confident about my future”), write three ways to accomplish that goal (eg, “spend time with people who are positive and optimistic”, or “start a volunteer job that makes me feel good about who and where I am”). Stop focusing on the “I can’t” and “I wish” parts of life. Instead, move forward towards the goals you can achieve!
4. Stay connected to who you are – your authentic self. Many people are confused and uncertain about how they should act with their ex – especially if the breakup isn’t final, or the relationship is going through a rocky time. The best way to sidestep this type of anxiety is to stay in touch with your healthiest, happiest, most fulfilled self. To be happy again, you must do what you love to do, connect with friends and family who know you best, and express yourself in writing or other ways.
5. Keep your long-term life goals in mind. Step back from your emotions and feelings and yearnings for a moment. Answer these questions logically and rationally – write your answers in a journal or diary: Is your boyfriend the healthiest choice for you? Are his life goals in line with your long-term life goals? Is he emotionally, physically, and spiritually available to you? Does he want to work on your relationship? Does he bring out the best in you, and make you feel secure, loved, smart, and independent? Think about your relationship with a cool head and calm mind…let yourself feel all those uncontrollable emotions and yearnings, but don’t get swept away in a tidal wave of hopeless love and devotion!
The Man

"Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger" -Sara Evans-