Sadomasochism

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't. We spend months, or even years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past or present. We may have spent time trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.... So we let go.... that doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means we feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We deal with our own feelings and need to walk away. We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.... We enter into a new relationship on new terms...taking our needs into account.... We stop letting what we are not getting from the other person control us. We then take responsibility for our life. Sometimes we get angry and feel hurt but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free of bondage...This is the heart of detaching in love....
After our first love, or deep caring relationship, we are transformed into the people we are now. We remember the pain, and at times hold our hearts in guarded boxes. Is this fair? Are they doing the same? One never knows. We again let those walls down and let someone enter ourselves only to be let down again. Why this circle of madness? We all want that feeling of security, the pleasures of someone to love and whom loves us, but why all the games? I wish I could go back to the innocence of "you like me, I like you", lets have fun and if something comes out of it, GREAT! Instead I find myself looking for a future with someone. This has brought me to a place where I feel as if I'm running out of time. Has my hourglass overturned already and my hopes of finding my mate diminished? It seems I go though the qualifications more and more and not willing to just settle with what works. I deserve better, I tell myself, but at times I feel I may just continue this path alone.
The Man