Have a Happy New Year!!

Eventually everything always comes to an end. Nothing lasts forever; love, friendship and life have beautiful beginnings and endings. Sad or happy ones; it doesn't make a difference as long as you always look back at them with love; as nice memories; or good stories to tell.

This is why, we all need to enjoy every single moment in our life, with real joy, real love and live to the fullest. We only live once, and if we learn to do it right, once is all we need.

There's nothing more satisfying than to live and know what you're living is worth it. Being free, loving freely no matter what, hoping for every new beginning once the current chapter comes to an end.

I wish everyone's beautiful new beginning comes along filled with free spirit, good energy, new friends, and most important, filled with LOVE.

Have an AMAZING New Year. New Chapter and New Life.

Love Bites Guest Writer


P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Have You Heard?

2011 taught me that Love is just another 4 letter word, promises mean nothing, ambition comes at a heavy cost & death never gets easier. It also showed me the power of love, kindness & loyalty that strangers hold. I am forever grateful for the anonymous and not so anonymous souls that helped in the evolution of Love Bites.

Originally, Love Bites was started to make peace with an unfinished past. At the time, it felt like the footprints of once best friends were permanently tattooed on our heart, and although life continued on without missing a beat the words once spoken were not forgotten. Eventually we came to the conclusion that the only way to forget was to change the ending -- and in the process to liberate others to make a stand for what they believe is right. We had no grand ideas or expectations, but the more we wrote and exposed our personal life, the more we forgot about the bittersweet ending. By doing so, we have become a piñata for some and a source of inspiration for others.

Over the course of the last year we have made new friends and lost once-familiar faces. Not everyone has embraced our views on certain events or our opinions on life and love. But through our writing, we have liberated ourselves and found that the path less traveled is pretty freaking amazing. With our new-found voice, we no longer feared the unknown and began to draw outside the lines -- not only with our words, but with our love of brazen apparel. With this mindset, we started to create a line of clothing that not only was an expression of our current state of mind, but was memorable and funny.

After months of hype, we are super excited to announce that our online clothing store is finally open for business. Like our writing, Share the Love clothing is an extension of our inner wild child -- bold, edgy and mysterious. We hope you will Share the Love for our new love, too. Shop the collection at www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Now that Share the Love clothing is finally open, we can once again focus our attention to our blog, Love Bites. Which in the months to follow will be getting an extreme makeover to transform into a edgy & interactive online magazine, filled with all the things we Love. Suggestions on topics are welcome. Stay tuned for more details..

Once again, thank you for being a follower of our humble blog and we hope a loyal customer of Share the Love clothing too. We hope you will keep following the evolution and permanent reminder of a life once lived.

Happy holidays y'all!!

No promise on what will happen after this.

With Love,
Kate


Have you heard? Our online clothing store is finally open for business.

Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor. In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites.

Blame Game

How can you trust and fall for someone that has never done anything for you and has not gone out of their way for you? I did, and did plenty for that someone. Gave my friendship, my love, my everything. Not asking for anything in return other than honesty and friendship. Did I get it? No, didn't get a thing. What I got was just realization that this someone didn't appreciate or wanted me in his life. Was I used? No! I did what I did for him because I wanted to, and because I am that giving and caring person. We can't blame others for the choices we make ourselves. Was it worth getting my heart broken for this? Absolutely!! Every single thing we do in our lives is worth it. Life and love are worth it, even if we don't get tht love back.

All we need to do is keep on moving forward and listen to our heart, since our heart is what makes us who we are and in our heart is where we can find exactly what we need. Our deepest desires.

Just like that; our heart holds the key to everything and anything.

So follow and listen to your heart; there's nothing better to know about life than that. Follow and listen to your heart; before it tells you good bye.

Love Bites Guest Writer

P.S. Have you heard, our online clothing store is finally open for business! WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM

In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, WWW.SHARETHELOVECLOTHING.COM is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Alive with fun and vibrant designs, each piece of Share the Love clothing stands alone, marked by individuality, a colorful appeal and a cheeky sense of humor.

Trust is Earned

My past, my JSR. I met him when I was 19 and he was a lot older. We were friends and then more. I became pregnant. I never expected to stay with him, let alone have children with him. But it happened. There was no turning back, decisions had been made and I had a future with that man. I dropped out of college, moved in with my parents and JSR went to jail (apparently he was a 3 time convicted felon, on parole with a warrant out) Yea me!

I believed lies from the beginning. I was young, ignorant, and had almost no confidence during that relationship. Until one day I realized that I had (with the help of my parents) raised and supported 2 kids, a JSR and was working full time while pregnant with my 3rd. I had the money, confidence and ability to move out pronto. So I did it. 7 months pregnant I did it. It hasn't been easy. I don't allow JSR to have unsupervised visits with the kids. We still argue. He still wants me back. He buys the kids clothes and toys. Sometimes he gives me money because he feels bad for the last nine years of my life. He thinks money will fix the damage of the past. He still doesn't get it. I was faithful to a man who wasn't faithful to me in any sense. Money doesn't fix that. I have learned from my decisions of the past. Trust is earned, not given.

Hot Mama - 2nd Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Rest in Peace

So here I am, with a broken heart, thinking that maybe I should just give up on love, give up on you. Never thought this would happen, never thought it would be you the one I would fall for, feeling like falling out of place, out of life. Wishing that I didn’t have the heart I have, so warm, so full of love for you and just be heartless or for me to use it less and less each time. I know I said one too many times “no attachments, just friends”, but the “just friends” it’s an impossible, something unpredictable and something we can’t control.

Although I do wish for your happiness and would love to see you in love and with your “one”, I still refuse to give up on you and will still love you. Will still be forever yours. No matter what happens, I will be happy since to love, is to find the other person’s happiness your happiness. And even though it might hurt to not have you by my side, there’s no doubt in mind that I loved you with every beat of my heart, every breath and every second that went by within my soul and my life.

I don’t regret my love for you, or anything that you and I did, but for now it’s better to let the past to rest in peace and just let it be. Until we meet again, I will remain here waiting for you, and you will remain here as well, in my thoughts, heart and soul, till you come back, my love will proceed to persist for you, and will be locked up with hope, for when the moment comes to let it loose for you again.

I am at your nearest reach, just look over your shoulder. I love you, forever your friend, your lover and your everything…

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

In Love, Pride Doesn't Fit

In love, pride doesn’t fit, it doesn’t have a place. It’s like trying to mix water and oil, they just don’t go together and well, it causes to be more distant with each other. I know we are human, and well, we’re not perfect, but when living and making a mistake, isn’t the right thing to do is learn from it and not repeat it? Acknowledge what you actually have in front of you. Look around you, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What do I really need and want, who is there for me?” Learn to admit your mistakes to be able to move onto the next chapter, the next journey and be happy.

Preserve what you already have and the people you do have around that care. Forget what hurts you. Fight for what you want. Value what you possess. Forgive those who hurt you and enjoy those who love you. We’re always waiting for something to pass by or happen our whole lives, and the only thing that passes by and happens is life along with love. We don’t understand the value of the moments we have, till they are turned into memories. This is why; we need to do what we want to do before it becomes something that we would’ve wanted to do. Don’t make your life out to be a sketch, since you might not have time to draw it once more clearly.

If you want to make a difference, make a change, or if you want something you never had; do something you never did. Everything that you are or ever hope to be is completely up to you.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Hot Mama

Alright, I've been a Love Bite's groupie for quite awhile now and have always looked forward to new Love Bite's blog entries. I have always wanted you guys to have a single mom's perspective on the whole dating/relationship thing so maybe I can offer that? I've had an awful lot of dating and relationship experience these last few years, I still believe in "the one" and I'm still looking or waiting... So below is a bit I wrote to explain where I'm coming from.

I was single for about 2 1/2 years. No boyfriends, nothing. I guess after awhile ago, I forgot how great it was having someone around and a part of my life. Then one day I'd had enough. I didn't have any guy friends that I was interested in, I was a stay at home mom and I turned to internet dating sites. I met one guy and knew from that start it wasn't right. We never spoke again. I got a couple emails from another guy and we moved quickly to talking on the phone, two days later we met. He wasn't the most attractive guy, but we had a good time and the conversation was great. So at the end of the date we kissed and it was amazing... we saw each other every couple days for the next three months, but there was the problem, I have kids and they are a huge part of my world. He thought that he was supposed to be top priority.

He wasn't right for me, and some part of me knew that from the beginning. I never had the urge for him to meet my kids even as we got closer and more intimate. I didn't see a future in it, and I don't believe he saw himself as being a part of my kid's lives. Though I do know he was in love with me, it was a selfish love where he wanted me all to himself and when I started noticing that I felt suffocated. He was 'in love' with me but not loving me as a person, a mother. I also worked full time and had other relationships that were important to me. Time apart is important, but it is a balancing act of the right amount of time. I ended the relationship because of how he reacted to the time apart and me explaining how I felt.

It was ironic, the night I ended it was a day before Valentine's day. I had gotten a babysitter for the night because everyone was busy Valentine's night. He came over all depressed because we hadn't seen each other in nine days, though we had talked twice a day and texted (depressed, seriously????) I thought it was ridiculous, we talked about it and I figured we could still have a good night. I'd already paid my babysitter! So he was still all upset about it and decided to leave, I decided to use my favorite cliche: "It's not you, it's me," and then I explained how I just wasn't ready for that kind of relationship (ya, the crazy kind where a guy is obsessed and calls/texts 20 times a day!) He left, and I called up some friends to go out. And that night starts the next chapter..

Hot Mama - 2nd Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Letting Go

It's time to let go. It's time for your dreams to take over again without realizing that you’re just living in a dream of your love. I once heard, “Just let it be", and yes, it’s the best you can do. It is impossible to change what's written for us, and impossible to change how we feel about someone when we love.

I can only move forward and pray that the happiness I see, is somewhere near waiting for me. Meanwhile, I just live and enjoy the happy moments that life gives me every day. Always making tough decisions and not looking back, until the time comes for when real “love” arrives, I will keep on going my way, and only hope, you are there at the end of the road. You, my real “love”...

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Don't Forget Me

Is it possible to forget someone or something you love so much? I wish it was. Although I believe that some people may be able to, it is really hard. I wish I would never feel forgotten, be forgotten, and of course, I wish I would never make anybody feel that way either.

During our busy lives we tend to forget that just a simple "Hi" can make a difference in somebody else’s world/life. And even though I rather forget right now, I'm not strong enough to do so. But I know that eventually it does happen and we’re all able to get our peace of mind.

If I ever made anybody feel forgotten, or hurt anybody, I'm sorry. But at the same time, here I am again, at your reach.
If you love me enough, or I love you enough, there will be no need for explanations; it will be just a simple "Hi" again.

Let's make sure we don't forget the love or friendship there once was. Forgetting the past and moving forward always helps to have a clear mind and being able to start over.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Fly Away Love

My heart has been broken, but my spirit persists. It has told me that even a broken heart can fly still. So in my sorrow, I will open the cage and set it free again. Go ahead, “fly”. While flying you'll learn to heal again. Don't be afraid to show your immense love, don't shy from it either. Let the world see the scars, for them to realize your vulnerability. But let them see, as well, how strong it becomes when healed, and how big it gets.

Life and the universe will set up your destiny; they know he is somewhere, waiting for you. They also know, only a flying heart will be able to find him. Look up and be grateful, for every day, for every smile, and for always being able to love. Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire; if you did, you wouldn’t have anything to look forward to.

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn and discover new things, new feelings. Be thankful for the difficult times; during those times is when our hearts grow stronger. Be very grateful for the limitations because they give us the opportunities to improve ourselves. Be grateful for the next breath you take; for it gives you life. Always remember that only a fully healed heart will be open and ready for when that moment of “love” comes. Until then, just fly...

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Remember Me

When you are down, and can't see what's ahead of you, always remember what you have accomplished. Never let your dreams down just because you can't see them clear at this moment. I've always managed to follow my dreams, the ones deep in my heart, always trying to answer my call. Calls that help me visualize my better future. The future full of happy moments, those moments that will make me laugh as I look back and realize that these cloudy days in my life are just the experiences that I need to have for that better future. Experiences that will stop me from making the same mistakes, which I’ve made plenty of times in the past, experiences that, will make me wiser, as I go along the way.

Once again life has shown me, and reassured me of what I like to do in life. I always knew that I wanted to be a happy person, be loved, be remembered, be giving, because what makes me happy in life is to make a difference in other people’s lives. Today I have done that as a human being. I've learned that I have made a huge difference in the life of a person that I love dearly, and even though it was a bittersweet moment at one point, nothing fills my heart more that knowing that.

Hearing someone tell you that your presence and your experiences have changed them for the best is a great feeling, but knowing it, is immense. A feeling I would take, to make sure and remind myself that I am in the right direction. All I hope is that by the end of my life, the lives I was able to touch will remember me with a smile in their face. And I hope that every person that has made a difference in my life knows that I appreciate them greatly..

Love unconditionally and smile at the world as if you do, you will get rewarded with the same feeling in return but within yourself.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Lost

The thought of the person of my dreams made me enter into a trance of passion and love that once in it, my mind, body and soul didn’t want to leave. Wanting more and more each time and craving for the love and caring that he brought, was like getting lost in a dream, in a fairytale. The smell of his skin lingering on mine, making me long for the embrace and warmth of this his body pressing hard against mine.

Thinking and thinking I noticed that I was losing control and losing myself for someone that didn’t exist. That wasn’t real since this was all a dream that once awaken from it, it was all going to be gone. Leaving me on my own, realizing that “me” is all I need..

Don’t ever get caught up to the point of losing yourself for someone even if it might seem right at the moment, because when losing yourself, you’re losing everything and the main reason that someone loved you in the first place.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

I am Grateful

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” - Marcel Proust

A couple days ago I had drinks with a few amazing, smart and witty new acquaintances. How I found myself sitting in their company was a result of technology and social media, but ultimately it came back to my youth and the naive and rebellious wild child I once was.

I am thankful for the mistakes of my youth, for the random chance encounters, the impulsive decisions and drama fueled by passion and rage. I still like to think of myself as this bad ass chick, but in reality I'm just an ordinary gal leading an extraordinary life.

I am thankful for my early twenties when I seriously thought I had life figured out and I wasn't afraid to push boundaries. I was still innocent and naive in both life and love. I believed in fairytales stories and I thought I had found my prince.

I am grateful for the fearless girl who started a blog to bitch about life and love. Because at the time it seemed like the most logical next step.

I am thankful for the person I once was who found comfort and closure by writing. That girl was me, is me, but she does not define me. Even though her actions seem to.

I will always be a passionate person, but I will never be the person who once threw clothes out the window and broke china because I saw it done on TV.

But, there I was talking about my past, about the childish moments of my youth and I wondered if I was being judged for my words of today or my actions of yesterday.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!

With Love,
Kate

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Addicted to Love

I once met a broken soul or what I thought was a broken soul, and by trying to fix it, mine got broken too. I met a broken heart, and then mine got broken again. I realized what I knew all along. We are unbreakable and well, Love is an addiction, and unless the addicted soul is asking you for help, there's nothing we can do to fix it.

I wish broken souls would understand that happiness comes and goes. Happiness is a beautiful state of mind in which you can only enjoy if you are happy with yourself. I still hope broken souls would find their way to happiness, and realize that by working hard towards it, can make you happy as well. I regret having my heart and soul broken again and again, but I would never regret the happy state of mind I was in, on those moments when I didn't know the difference and felt free.

There’s only so much you can do when trying to fix something and so much you can take while doing it. All I know is that love is a give and take thing in which we may lose and may win but always learn from.

Love Bites Guest Writer


COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!! In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Reflections

While searching for love I found a beautiful person. This person was pretty/handsome, smart, accomplished, sweet, and with a great heart. This person taught me that love is pure and that it can be found in so many ways. This person also taught me that living with it is much better than living without it. That life is so much easier when you have Love around you and in yourself.
This person told me not to give up, and if I fall to just get back up and keep on going, even though it might hurt sometimes, it is alright.

Never imagined at this stage of my life that I would feel this way about love. That I would finally know what it means to love and to be in love, like I've never been before. Maybe I'm just letting my heart speak for myself, but this person told me that our brains may not be able to comprehend this level of emotions that we can experience so deeply in ourselves.
I wish love would be the dictator of our lives, but then again, I'm just wishing. I thank this beautiful person for the teachings that I have learned, I give thanks with my own life because thanks to love, I've discovered that this person was me all along and thanks to love I found myself..

Always have faith and confidence in yourself, and believe that you’re the only one strong enough to overcome anything and everything that may occur in your life.

Love Bites Guest Writer

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Replacements

I've been writing less and less on here by choice. This blog will never be what it once was. I don't think I could handle another broken heart or unnecessary drama. I am not the same person anymore and part of that is as a result of Love Bites.

I respect my private life now and want to keep as much as possible hidden from the public arena. But, by doing so I am left with very little material to write about. I hope one day soon I will be in a place where I once again feel comfortable exposing my most intimate thoughts for anyone and everyone to read.

If it were just anonymous strangers peeking into my life I would be completely fine, but unfortunately I made the mistake in the beginning to let my friends and colleagues in on my double life. I regret doing this now, because there is no longer a clear divide between the two lives.

I am forever thankful for the lessons I have learned and the people I have met since this journey began. There are many more chapters to be written and I hope you will continue to check in on our humble blog. While we can't guarantee we will write every day or even every week, we will try our best to write at least a few times a month if not more.

But, if you need a daily dose of Love Bites, check out our Facebook page and our Twitter account @ LoveBitesMF. We typically update on both daily.

We wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for continuing to include us in your lives.

No promise on what will happen after this.

With Love,
Kate

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Why Do Exes Come Back Around?

It's been quite some time since my last entry in the blog, but recently we asked for some ideas. Some were interested in "Why do ex's come back around?” one I heard a while back "friends to lovers & back to friends (will it ever work)" and one I tried a few times "long distance relationships"

I may not have the answers you're looking for, but we all have a different ways of dealing with these issues. Remember, I’m a guy and that my way of thinking differs from most women’s thoughts on these experiences, but that's why I'm here. The major issues are due to the fact Women and Men have totally different thought processes. I, at times even stand alone from most of them as well. I am brutally honest, and will at times say things that most think, but are too chicken shit to say.

First of all, you may have stumbled upon this page by accident or heard about it by friends, but the one thing is that you're here, and something we've said, you related to. We're glad you're here and hopefully we can all figure out some answers you've been looking for. For all the new readers, I’m a 30 something bachelor, some say cute, who was engaged but things just didn’t seem to work out, and have been on the hunt for Mrs. Right for the last three years. I have been on hundreds of dates, some good, some bad, but have learned more than most of you will in a lifetime. It just seems the dating world, and people have changed so much. Everyone wants the "real deal" but expect it to be handed to them. I work my ass off to find Mrs. right. I change where I shop, the places I eat, and work the Internet like a madman! If you think, "good things come to those who wait", best of luck to you and your forever single life. No one is just going to knock on your door and say, "I know you've been waiting, and you've been good, so let me make your dreams come true". So many think guys suck! And say, " show me one who is different than all the rest".... Well, you're already tainted! You're going into it looking for a guy to prove you wrong... you're already judging us on your past relationships, and you hold a bit of resentment before it starts. Why the hell do guys have to prove anything to you????? Why don't you prove us YOU'RE DIFFERENT?? Truth: we don't really give a fuck!! If we like you, it doesn’t matter what happened in our past. Every relationship is different, and offers a little something new each time. Don’t let the scars of your past carry over. It’s already hard enough for us guys... We have to have a great job, a decent car, we can't live at home (like most of you do), and so much more. Sure some of us know these factors and put on an act (for a little while), but isn’t that what you wanted with all that pressure??? Come on!! Go into things with a clear head, and hope for the best. If nothing comes out of it, you'll at least learn a little more about yourself. Don't set "rules”; this will limit the already tough job of finding your true happiness.

I have been dating for about 3 years now and have entered every relationship clear-minded and open to the thoughts "whatever happens happens". I don’t care what you drive, what clothes you wear, what job you have, or any of the factors that are "deal-breakers" for most superficial bitches. Opps, I said it.... suck it up buttercup! Am I a poor guy? Nope! But guess what? I can see those women a mile away, and I know exactly what it takes to score with you. I can read your every move, and constantly judging your body language, I can tell within the first 30 min if you're taking me back to your place, if this is relationship material, or just a waste of time. I’m rambling because I just laugh at so many with their "pity me" stories and it's really their own close-minded thoughts that keep them single! Well, back to the reader’s questions: "Why do ex's come back around?" There are plenty of factors why we do this. It’s as simple as this: Some come back because they realize leaving was a mistake. Others come back because they think it's easy to get back with some one old than to start fresh with some one new. Sure there are many other reasons/excuses but its a simple concept... We all like the comfort of the known. We know your issues, as do you know ours, we had a past, and think whatever separated us is not that big of a deal to leave you forever. Just make sure you hear them out on their reasoning, and question them upon it as well.

Now here goes a tricky one "can friends become lovers, then part as friends again"? This all depends on your mentality. Can you handle it? Everyone’s mindset is different, and for one, someone cares more than the other. 90% of the time it's the guy who wants to break this type of relationship off, and sad to say, he cares less. Sure there's always exceptions, but deep down, someone will be hurt and things rarely return to normalcy again. Eventually the two of you part, and as time goes on, eventually stop talking all together.

Here's one I wrote about in the past: Long distance relationships, can they work? Of coarse then can for some, but the truth of the matter is that we all want our loved ones close to us. I would say that these types of relationships last longer when you meet someone, and they need to transfer for work, or another situation. The relationships that start from long distance are tougher, and eventually someone needs to move closer to maintain a relationship. With both of these, TRUST & COMMUNICATION is the key! So many solders have amazing women waiting for them. So sure, it could work, but just know what you can handle before entering.

So to break it down.... You need to be free of the past before entering the future. Give everyone a chance, and your results will be different. Try new things, and get new results. Break down your walls, and build bridges, know your self worth! Never lower your standards for anyone. When you say you are going to break the chains that bind you and happiness will find you, remember the words of Thoreau "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.
The Man

COMING SOON - SHARE THE LOVE CLOTHING!!
In keeping with our edgy and bold message, and inspired by our love of Miami, Share the Love clothing is the sister wild child to Love Bites. Preview our apparel @ www.sharetheloveclothing.com

Yankee Rebound

Even after all the pain and trauma sometimes we find ourselves unknowingly thinking about people who once were a part of our lives. It doesn't mean we want to relive that period. Clearly it wasn't a lasting one, but sometimes we need a happier ending in order to make peace with the past. Nothing more, nothing less or at least that is what we tell ourselves.

For some it takes longer to finally realize "it's over" or that it never was something of meaning. Sometimes we push ourselves over the edge and into a mentally crazy and exhausting phrase because we don't know what else to do. Eventually pushing away loved ones because it's easier to watch someone destroy themselves from a distance.

And then one day many months later you wake up and the flowers smell again, the air is no longer toxic, the future while blurry seems promising, but your love is gone. He couldn't handle the pain anymore. He has moved on and at that moment when he says "I'm seeing someone new" reality hits you like a brick wall.

So, what is a girl to do? You could sit at home watching depressing TV, gain weigh, sleep all day, but it won't change the end result. Instead following in the steps of Carrie Bradshaw you go big and bold and ask out a Yankee. Which at least is a happy temporary distraction.

Kate

Not Friends with an Ex

So, the big one. I promised I would write about the doozy of an ex-boyfriend who I am no longer in contact with.

And then he went and called me. Sonofabitch!

About two months ago, I was watching TV with my roommate, and seriously close to going to bed. It was almost 11 p.m., and I was falling asleep on the sofa, which is never a good thing. Then the phone rang. I recognized the area code as Chicago (where he used to live), and thought to myself, what the hell…maybe it’s a telemarketer. So, I answered, mostly out of curiosity, and there was no one on the other line. I hung up.

One minute passes, and the phone rings again. Same number. I answer it. Again. This time a voice: “Hello, I am looking for MY NAME.”

I responded, “Rob? It’s me.” Of course, at this point, the roommate is interested, and so I am trying to motion and mouth who it is (she knows the whole story—which, by the way, is long and arduous to tell, if you want to know the truth). I take the call into the other room. As soon as I shut the door, I say, “Why are you calling me?” I have no fear and nothing to lose at this point, right?

And then, what I feared the most, happened: he tried to explain. Everything. And he tried to apologize. Now, I have not spoken to Rob in almost two years. But, in the past, our conversations tended to be on the near side of three plus hours. As soon as the first few sentences came out of his mouth, I feared for my phone bill. Why the hell did I answer! Damn you, Queen of Mean!!

Then, like it was 1945, he dropped The Bomb. He was getting married.

Now, this has happened to me before—shocking, right? Not really. If you knew the assholes I’ve dated…

Anyway, and I really couldn’t help myself, the first thing out of my mouth was, “Why!?” Then I corrected myself, “Why are YOU getting married?”

And do you EVEN know what he said? I mean, talk about the most perfectly delivered line of my life: “Because I found someone who will put up with me.” That’s EXACTLY what he said. Holy schnikey! Are you kidding me? Not only was that opening windows of opportunity for me, but the front door, garage door, and whole goddam roof!

I responded, “You’re serious? She puts up with you?”

This is not happening. Ohmygod, you cannot make this stuff up!

And then, Hiroshima again: “You are always going to be the one who got away.”

OH, COME ON. I could not believe my ears. I started to try and get out of the impending marathon conversation, and thought I had heard it all, but then, and I kid you not, he said, “Can we talk again, you know, be friends?”

Now, mind you, if I had absolutely no class, tact, or heart, I would have hung up right then, or just laughed in his face. So I foolishly said, “I will let you know,” leading him to think that I might, when in fact, I do not ever wish to speak to him again. And on top of that, I hope there is no wedding. I hope by that divine intervention, or stroke of luck, that someone tells that girl what she’s in for.

Rob cheated on me, on the girl before me, before her, and so on. He’ll never not cheat. He’s also a drunkard. And insanely cocky. And honestly, not even that attractive. Certainly, I am out of his league. And part of me wishes I had thought more of myself when I was with him, without him, and back with him. But I do now, and that’s ultimately what's important.

Queen of Mean

Dreamweaver

A memory is a way of holding onto things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose. It's also how we learn, a way to show people we care and have listened. It's the story of how we got to where we are, what we have overcome to reach the being we have become. Memory gives us the capacity for compassion and empathy, it enables us to connect with people at different stages of their journey, and help just by understanding. But, some memories make it hard to keep moving forward without looking back.

When we dream of old friends or acquaintances it usually indicates that there is something in your past that keeps coming up and interfering in your life somehow. The old maybe familiar, but it isn't always the correct decision. Sometimes we just need a push in the right direction to remind us just how precious life is and how petty our errors were.

Life is full of vanishing acts and dreams that later become nightmares. The old are eventually replaced with the new. Sometimes we let go of our dreams and settle for less than extraordinary. But, if we keep believing that the dream does exist we have a chance of waking up from the nightmare.

Kate

Light at the end of the tunnel

No one should be trusted with your heart or any other part of you for that matter. We are all unique that's what makes the world so fascinating. Everyone has their beliefs, their traditions, their crazy rules about how relationships should be. Sometimes we make a wrong turn and while in the moment it may feel right that little voice knows it's never going to last. Mistakes are a part of living, no one is perfect.

Some people will remain in our hearts long after the door shut. It doesn't necessarily mean you still love them or even like them, but sometimes letting go takes a lifetime to forget.

When we are picky with whom we choose to call friends it tends to hurt more when one leaves your side. But, whether you agree or not doesn't stop time or let you go back and repair the damage.

We grow as we age, but it doesn't mean we all mature or refine our tastes like a fine wine. For some, the best years have long past, but we still live off the memories of days gone by. For others, the best is yet to come.

You may never get an answer and even if you do it probably isn't what you wanted to hear. Words are very powerful weapons when misused. Make sure you are picking a fight with the right person.

Kate

Share The Love Clothing

In August I went to Brooklyn for the Share the Love clothing photo shoot. I hired a couple local models; Brissena and Dean, an amazing photographer who I grew up with, Tommy Agriodimas, www.agriodimas.com, a makeup artist and two amateur models/assistants. Alex, the fresh faced twenty something musician and my cousin Yvette, who I haven't seen in thirteen years.

I didn't have a clue what to expect or what to do, but somehow I pulled off my first fashion shoot which I guess officially makes me a self taught fashion designer. By the end of the day I was exhausted and super pleased with all the awesome photos Tommy shot.

Like our writing, Share the Love clothing is an extension of our inner wild child -- bold, edgy, mysterious and, perhaps for some, offensive. But you only live once, so be bold, be brave, be unique, be you. We hope you will fall in love with our newest venture, too and thanks for being so patient.

www.sharetheloveclothing.com is the clothing website. It's still a work in progress. We are hoping to have the online clothing store up and running in the next couple weeks. In the meantime, sign up for our monthly newsletter and preview some of the shirts.

No promise on what will happen after this.

Peace out love.

Kate

Lost Mojo

Taking the advice of The Man I recently revised my online dating profile to be more witty and honest with a dash of jackass. Seeing how it worked wonders when he told women he was "not looking for a relationship and might not return messages often."

At first it seemed to be working. More men were starting conversations, but the crop of eligible bachelors online is very depressing and slim picking.

Potential matches included a 38 yr. old guy who made a point of mentioning he owned a condo in his profile and that for fun on the weekend he was renovating the bathroom which made him feel so grown up. (This wasn't a joke.)
Actually you sound boring and too "grown up" for me.

The Catholic school teacher who volunteered on the weekends at the local Church.
What part of I am not religious did you not get?

The fifty-two year old who the hell knows.
Seriously? You need to get your eyes checks, because clearly you must have read my "seeking men 30-38 yrs. old" as something very different.

When I did a reverse search, where you can see who is looking for someone like you. It showed me men primarily in Atlanta, Arkansas and Colorado. All of whom look like they may have been on Dateline's To Catch a Predator.

I thought honesty was the best policy, but I'm starting to think that when it comes to online dating it makes men afraid to start a conversation.

Here is my rather hilarious attitude filled profile:

Trying to pitch myself on a dating site is not exactly easy or something I ever imagined doing, but the bar scene isn't exactly what it use to be. Walking around in high heels is fun a couple nights a week, but not every night. If I can lounge around at home and still possibly meet a great guy I figured why not give this whole online dating thing a spin.

I'm an adventurous gal with a dry sense of humor. I'm brutally honest about what I want which can be misread. If you are a banker, lawyer or any other office type 9-5 job we probably won't have a good chemistry in person. I don't want to waste your time either.

I'm NOT looking to be engaged or married any time in the near future or possibly ever. I've been down that road already and it didn't end well. I would like to have kids one day, but again not in the near future (at least 3 years from now). So, if you are in a rush to put a ring on it or are looking for a housewife I'm not your cup of tea.

I'm not necessarily looking for anything more than a fun guy to spend time with. I don't have a lot of free time, but I will make time for the right guy.

What I'm looking for in a guy is someone who is adventurous, funny, a risk taker, ambitious and confident. I also like a man who has a creative side and has a great sense of humor. When we’re not working, I want to be able to laugh hard and laugh often.

Things to know about me and Match:

1) If you favorite me on here before we have even communicated I will not respond. It's odd and is a turn off.

2) Please don't just wink - either wink and send a short message or just send a message. If you are interested say so. Don't fear rejection.

3) I am not your Sweetie, Honey or any other baby name and I never will be.

3) There is a reason why we both took the time to answer basic questions about ourselves. It can quickly eliminate our matches so neither party is wasting their time. Therefore,
If your Sundays revolve around what time Church is please don't bother contacting me.
If you absolutely do not want kids ever, again do not contact me.
If you are old enough to be my father, do not contact me.

If you are still reading, hit me up. No harm in a friendly chit chat via a computer screen. I won't bite. I promise. :)

Kate

Stupid Crazy Love

You lift another spoonful of food into your mouth as she drones on about her day...something about wearing the wrong slacks to the meeting - black instead of gray. You stare down at your plate and push some overcooked carrots to the edge. You look up at her, a faint moustache visible from the overhead lighting.

Yeah, she's okay - You've been dating a couple of months, but things have plateaued - Is this really it? You've both settled into the comfort zone - Netflix and Chinese food.
Slowly looking up, across the restaurant, you can't help but notice the two hot blondes in spandex, tight shorts and taught ponytails. They're on their third drink and boy are they having fun...
You return to your girl, hoping the check would come so you could sulk out of the joint, back to the comfort and familiarity of your apartment.

How'd you end up with Sarah, anyhow? An introduction from your cousin...she looked so good that day at the BBQ... Or did she? A few extra pounds here and there, and a smile that showed too much tooth - but hey, she was sweet.
"I never dated a really hot girl," you think.
You signal to the waiter - "Check, please." You look back at Sarah and she's still talking, but you've lost her.... Oh, yeah... what happened at work. Something about a broken copier...
You look up the hotties and your stomach sinks deeper when see a third smoking hot girl - this one brunette - approach their table and pull out a chair. And wait...what's this...? A guy, just like you, is arm-in-arm with her? Everyone's laughing; the two blondes get up and go around the table to hug the guy. Clearly, he's the man.

You check him out - what's he got that you don't? Same height, same clothes. He even looks kind of like you... What gives? Why does this guy get the hotties and you don't?
Isn't it time you stepped up to the plate and learned how to get what you really want?
Aren't you sick of watching all the actions from the sidelines, settling for less than you deserve?

You can be that guy! But in order to make this happen, you need to take action now. It works, all you have to do is take the next step...you need to know a few VERY important things. After talking to numerous women I discovered a few things they can all agree on. After all the money, looks, success, the one thing they can all agree on is that: THEY WANT A CONFIDENT MAN!! Not they cocky type, just one who can pull it all together. You don't need to be the best dressed, the most paid, the most successful, or the most hung. You just need to know YOU are important enough, and that inside you have other options if she doesn’t work out. Now...you may wonder, "How is this possible?" Well. (Women are going to hate this) but this is how you build a relationship/one night stand/marriage material, or whatever you're really looking for:

Geez, I really shouldn't tell you this, but it works for women as well... Next time you go out, (or you may already have one), find someone who really likes you, for you. Smooth talk them a little, and build a friendly relationship. Sometimes things happen, and you may even like them, after giving them a chance. We all have a friend that we know would do it, if we gave them the chance. It doesn’t matter if they're your "type" at all. What you're doing is: Building confidence. You can finally do whatever with someone, whenever you want! Let them know upfront that you just want to have "fun". Some will go along with it (especially most men), while some women will not, but we all have at least one that would rather have "fun" than nothing at all. Now...I'm not saying they need to be a "fuck buddy", just someone to hang with so you're not lonely and looking desperate when looking for Ms. Right.

During this time, you can use them to tell you what you're doing right, or wrong. Both of you are in fact, helping each other finding "the one". The next steps are to improve on these things in order to be prepared for the real deal. (Women often rate us upon these things)

a) Conversation skills
b) Attractiveness
c) Humor
d) Relationship potential

After you know you have "options", there aren’t the added pressures to impress. You may usually try everything to get that one, but sometimes you push them away with all the bullshit you practice. With confidence alone, you wont need the corny pick-up lines, the best clothes, the nicest cars, or be the richest guy.... You can finally be yourself, and get what you deserve. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
The Man

Juggler

It sure has been a while since my last blog. I just lost motivation in writing about myself and putting my life out there to be judged, but perhaps with the new addition of "Queen of mean", (whom I just love after I read her response to an idiot) things will get a lil' spicy again. I first must say welcome to the inner circle of Love Bites, and let's bring on some stories to help get this page rolling again.

Where have I been? what have I been up to? Ha! well....many of you know I'm the type to take extreme risks for happiness.I have always lived with the motto "live live to the fullest, with nothing left unanswered". Here goes a few more adventures to add to them. As many of you know, I am on a few dating sites(as some of you have tried as well), and I work it like a mad-man! I think some days I put more hours into that, than my real job. Do I have an addiction with it? Perhaps, but like I always said before "I tend to get what I want". Some could call me a player, but others realize the difficulties of finding what they want, don't want, and what they could be happy with. Generally my happiness is momentary and then I find the flaws that I have had in the past, I know I don't want that again. So let me bring on some stories.

Months ago I met someone online, and we were chatting for a while. We then took the next step and exchanged numbers. We met and hit it off right away. (This almost always happens with me, if I find her attractive). I'm not cocky, I am just extremely lucky I guess. Trust me, if I knew how I did it, I would bottle it, and sell it on E-bay all day long. I really have no idea what it is about me that brings this attraction to some women, but I ain't complaining.

So we "dated" for a bit (mostly drunken nights) and not too much otherwise. It wasn't a "keeper" type, but it filled my time perfectly, and was just what I needed til the right one came along. We never stated we were "dating" and pretty much just did one night a week. There were no "I want more, I love you, can we bring to another level" we had an "unspoken understanding". Now with this said, I liked her! She never asked for more, or pushed the relationship. She allowed it to remain how it was. This is a big thing for me.

Usually women push and push for more, and I tend to walk, then run away. Please, look for these signs/signals if you want a long-lasting relationship. Just let things happen it their natural order. No need to rush or push anything. I believe if more women would act less emotional, they would have less problems with relationships lasting only a few weeks. Too many times Ive entered into a relationship, and within weeks, sometimes days, I get the "stalker side" (the one who calls and calls wondering where you are), or the "jealous one" who constantly thinks you're up to no good. Caring about what someone is doing is one thing, but constant questioning pushes most of us away. Oops, I'm rambling... ok so back to her.

Things were great (for me), she was only in town a few weekends a month, and didn't really want too much more than what she was getting. She had an up-coming business event that was going to keep her out of town for a month, or so...so my thinking was...I kinda want someone to have fun with while she was gone. I headed back to my trusty sites, and began chatting. Within a day or two, I found someone to fill her void. A beautiful 20-something model whom was recently seperated. She lived about 9hrs away so driving wasn't an option to meet. Chats became more and more, as the trust levels were built. One night, as I was about to fall asleap, she texted to say "I can't wait any longer to meet you, I booked a ticket to see you". WHOA!!! that was pretty cool! I didn't even have to come outta pocket. LOL Plans were set, and the ball was rolling. The "other" was headed out of town, and this one was arriving a few days later. I couldnt have asked for more... or so I thought! Here's where my risk-taking gets crazy....
The Man

Juggling Act

The model arrives in town, we meet and a connection was made. I was committed to having a somewhat stranger live with me, for who knows how long. I never asked about how long she would stay. I assumed it was just for the weekend, or a week...but to my suprise she didn't leave for a month!!! The first couple days were great! Then I started freaking out! I have a stranger living in my house! I had no idea she would stay that long. Well, I had to suck it up, and make the best of it. The same time, the "other" texts/calls me every once and a while. The hiding/avoiding getting caught was crazy! But I pulled it off!....or so I thought.

Here's where it gets even better....... The "other" decides she is driving back, instead of flying. So guess what??? She buys me a ticket to drive back with her. Hahahhahaa!!! Holy Shit! How am I gonna pull this one off? I'm no pro at lying, but I did pretty well for a last minute thing. I was now a "Transporter" whom, on the weekends, drives cars for a dealer across the U.S. LMAO!!! I explained "I needed the extra money and do this on the weekends"

So here's the tricky part.....I fly to Chicago to drive the "other" back, while some stranger is at my house. I fly out and meet the "other". I needed to return ASAP but can't really let her know about this...so "my dad" is flying into town, I say. She buys it and we head back to Miami. I am fuckin nuts! I have someone I barely know at my house, and I'm driving across the US with another. I was somewhat amused at this. Crazy? Yea, I know!!

Well, I became a pro... calls were made at every rest stop to confirm everything was ok, and the "other" thinking my dad arrives the following day. 23 hours later, we arrive in Miami. Now I had thought of this prior to leaving: Park car at airport so she doesn't have to go to your house (I'm a fricken genius lol) Well, that was great, until...."come sleep with me tonight, it's been a while since I've seen you" comes out of her mouth. CRAP!!! Ok, but I need to leave early in the morning. Plan worked perfectly! or so I thought..... The week went by, and the "other" wanted to see me over the weekend. I told her I had plans with my father, but as I could see, she was on to me. She wanted to meet him, and even offered to swing by my house for a minute. Ummm..... Sorry but I'll try to see you next weekend. I had to keep them both happy (which was tough!) but I managed to do ok.

As the weeks passed, I pulled off the impossible and was suprised at the outcome. I had grown attached to how trusting both of them were. I actually felt like shit! It was exciting and all, but it wasn't me. I'm no player! I am always honest and I really began to grow feelings for both.

Now what would I do? I have one who lives close (super cool and a lot of fun) and the other (whom lives hours away, and is still legally married). My thought procees has been running wild, too many tough decisions to make....If I decide the far one, there will be no "dating process", she would have to move in (HUGE STEP), or continue doing what I've always done with the other... Well, the choice was made for me. The "other" (close one) decided I didn't have enough time for her and began dating. The young one is in the divorce process and must remain up north until everything settles, but do I want to take this type of step? Hmm.....(to be continued)
The Man

How To Be a Jackass and Win

After writing my prior blog, I decided to ask around a little and try to come up with a few reasons some guys get the ones they want. Now I could be totally wrong, but some of this has worked for me. I was once where you are... thinking I was a nice, sensitive guy who had to sit around "wishing" and "wanting" women who had no interest in me (out of being a friend) because I was too shy, not good-looking enough, not rich enough etc.

But then, I quickly realized that I had it all wrong. Instead of thinking that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed to be richer or better-looking to get women, I realized what I really needed was to be the guy that women really want. I came up with my "I dont give a crap if I get her or not attitude."

You see... this is why women often date "jerks" and guys who are emotionally unavailable and don't date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them. It's because, as my ultimate law for success with women goes... attraction isn't a choice. In other words, women do not sit down and make a list of the qualities that a particular guy has, then think it over for a few days, then decide whether or not to feel attraction.
Just doesn't happen.
Attraction is either there or it isn't, and it happens in an instant. Plus, to mess up a "nice" guy's thinking even more, it happens for all kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons that even a woman who is feeling it can't usually describe.

So what's the answer here?

The answer here is realizing that... most likely... many of the "nice" things you're doing while you're around women you feel attracted to (and who consider you "just a friend") are actually ruining your chances with them.
You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that seem to be "inconsiderate" in order to give a woman what she really wants... which is act like a man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her. You have to stop doing the nice, sensitive things that say "I'm a Wussy" -- because these are the very things that torpedo any chance you have of success with the women you really want.
Instead, start doing the things that really work with women...
Be calm and confident.
Act Cocky & Funny.
Bust on women and give them a hard time.
Lead the way, don't follow.
Now, of course, one of the problems that a lot of guys run into is "putting together" all these different personality traits is that don't seem to go together. Many of the things women say they want in a man seem to conflict with each other. Women say that they want guys who sensitive... but always go for the "bad boy".

What's a guy to do?

Well, here's what I did:

I gave up my old ways of thinking and learned what really works.
Not what sounds like it might work.
Not what should work in a "logical" world.
And not what is supposed to work according to all those touchy-feely self-help books (...and what your mommy taught you).
I avoided all the bad advice (that never got real results) and figure out what "works" and I started out with a huge disadvantage. And I'm not talking about a disadvantage of my plain looks. I'm talking about a disadvantage of all this bad advice. This bad "programming."

We all had this pre-determined "map" in our mind of how we thought we should behave around women... and it turned out to be the wrong map. A total game- killer. And the most frustrating part was that when I did the things that should work, they actually made women even less into me!

It was like the whole world wasn't working right... I would be so sweet, sensitive and nice, and then woman would not even want to talk to me.
I would call often and share my feelings with her, and she would still fall for the rude jerk who could care less about treating her well.
Well, I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what works... even though the things I was doing weren't working. And the magic "breakthrough" came:
You can have the smoothest "pick up lines" in the world... do "nice" things for women all day long... but if you don't understand ATTRACTION, these things will backfire and wind up pushing women away from you.

That's why, even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, it doesn't mean that women don't feel attraction for them. In fact, women report feeling incredibly attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't control their feelings... Whether a women likes you or not as "more than a friend" is often decided right away. Stop living in the "friend zone" and make a change to get what you deserve. What do you have to lose?
The Man

To Follow or Not To Follow

Yesterday's blog from the Queen of Mean got me thinking about my ex-files. I am still friends with my exes, with the exception of three. Of course none of them live in the same state and I haven't actually seen any in person since we broke up, but occasionally we chat on facebook. All of my exes (that I'm friends with) are now married with kids and when we broke up it was a mutual decision, mostly due to someone moving away for work.

The three I am not friends with are the ones that in hindsight were doomed relationships from the start. For starters there was MF who has become the mascot of all JSR douche bag exes. In the rulebook of manners and plain old common sense he managed to royally fuck up being friends and then some. The only good thing to come out of briefly being friends with him again is Love Bites. It just took someone to piss me off beyond what I ever thought was possible.

The second ex is someone I still have contact with, but not by choice these days. Thankfully we have come to a point now where we really just don't care about each other's personal lives. Which makes being civil possible for at least a few minutes.

The third ex I tried really hard to be friends with afterwards, but it was a one sided attempt to maintain a connection and friendship. Much like the short-lived relationship this too failed miserably.

One day we were the best of friends the next it was like we never knew each other. After a few months of space I was at a place where I didn't have any romantic feelings for him, but missed our witty banter. We were no longer friends on Facebook (my decision) and he had just started using Twitter so I became a follower of his. For me it was a harmless gesture meant to be like an olive branch. I don't know why it mattered so much, but I wanted him to 'follow' me back and the next day he did. Even though we hadn't spoken, I thought it was a step in the right direction.

If you follow Love Bites on Twitter (@LoveBitesMF) you know we tweet a lot and most of the time our tweets are silly. But, then again Twitter is a silly concept anyhow, so who cares.

For the first week I found myself basically cyber stalking his profile page. I don't know why or what exactly I was hoping to find. About a week later I noticed he had unfollowed my account without ever making contact. I had never tried to start a conversation, but now I was pissed off. Why even follow me in the first place? Why unfollow me? What did I do? (But, much like how we ended I never found out and honestly I don't care anymore. Our personalities are worlds apart which at first was part of the attraction, but eventually it just become frustrating and annoying.)

I let it pass. It was a stupid idea to begin with. I wondered if that was the point of his silent gesture of f____you. To see how I would react. Because in the past I probably would have made a big deal about the seemingly innocent action. Instead I just continued along trying to forget about his sorry ass. Another couple weeks pass and one day I get an auto notice saying he was following me again. WTF I thought. Still didn't make contact, but now I did make sure at least one tweet made by me each day was secretly about him.

After a few days of spending way to much time thinking about him and wanting to talk to him I realized just how ridiculous and crazed I was making myself over someone who should mean nothing and whom I shouldn't be friends with anyhow. So I unfollowed him, stopped looking at his profile page completely, erased his phone number, blocked his email address and even though we haven't spoken I am finally at peace with the messy breakup and happy for him and whatever the future holds.

Maybe one day we will speak again, until then sleep well my friend.

Night y'all. I need my beauty sleep for Sin City. 6-day countdown to 72 hours of epic greatness recorded for the masses. Which will require 10 pairs of heels, 8 dresses, lots of jewels and 1 BFF. Something’s in life are priceless.

Kate

Friends with the Ex?

I realize I am not the first person to ask why we foolishly keep contact with our exes,but recently, something sparked my interest. My roommate told me a story about how she recently regretted keeping up a “friendship” with a guy she dated earlier this year. She went back and forth for a while about it, but ultimately figured out that it wasn’t worth her time—or emotion—to continue the relationship.

Personally, I have never been a fan of being “friends” with an ex-boyfriend. Let’s face it, how is it even possible? You meet, you date, you’re intimate, you fight, you break up (or for whatever reason—move, timing, etc.),and then you become friends? I don’t get it. As a result, I do not talk to, associate with, or keep the phone numbers of any of the men I’ve dated.

Until recently.

And surprise (!) it was a mistake. The long and short of it is this: we dated last summer for about two months. We had great chemistry, great sex, a lot in common,even shared some friends. Everyone thought we were so good together. So did I.

Well, he got a job offer in a city about 100 miles away, and accepted it. Obviously, we didn’t talk about it, because we were in the early stages of our relationship. I was sad, and we decided to try and make it work.

It didn’t. Are you shocked? He said he felt “pressure” to come visit me. Pressure? Didn’t he WANT to see me? I dumped him, and washed my hands of the situation.

Later, I found out that before he left, he had been talking to another girl who lived in the area, and whaddya know, about a month later, he updated his Facebook status to “In a relationship” with said girl. He was definitely willing to make the effort to come see her.

I got pissed, emailed him to say that he was a liar, a cheat, and a sleaze, and that I never, EVER wanted to talk to him again. Erase my phone number! Now. I unfriended him on FB, and again, washed my hands of it. This was about six months ago.

Then I started getting random texts from his number. I know it was him because of the area code, and the nature of the messages. I didn’t respond. Until the third one. At that point, I was “over” the whole situation, and I didn’t see the harm in communicating with him via text message. Well, guess what that led to? Yup, we ended up seeing each other about a month ago, and well, you know…

Was it worth it? In the moment, yes. Right now, not so much. And here’s why.
After I saw him, I started thinking about him. More than I wanted to. And we kept the texts up, and as a girl, being the way we are, I thought I kind of liked him again.

NO! I had to tell myself, no! It was just one night, it wasn’t a rekindling, it wasn’t a sign, or fate, or any of that shit. Why did I let myself slip? Why do girls do thisto themselves? And it really is us, ladies. WE do this. Men will go along with it because it’s NOT emotional for them. It’s just sex. And that’s where we are like night and day. And it’s also why exes should not be friends. It’s like trying to get democrats and republicans to agree on the debt crisis. (Hint, it’ll never happen.)

He is officially the second to last ex I have cut off contact with—for the second time now—and it’s worth my sanity, my sense of self, and let’s face it, it’s just the smartthing to do. Women supposedly have the upper hand in relationships—let’s prove that theory!

There is one more ex I still need to deal with, and he brought it on. Don’t worry, I will write it all down. ‘Til we meet again, reader. I’m not saying hold your breath,but it’s a doozy.
Queen of Mean

Queen of Mean

I must be the queen of random asshole-guy emails! This is hilarious. I wish I had met that guy so I could have slugged him in the eye! I have many a story to tell--including insight, wisdom, whatever you want to call it--and am happy to share. Glad you laughed! (read the blog titled Disclosure from July 2011)

I'm just a normal, intelligent, attractive, sports-loving, girl-next-door type, who's been burned more than I care to remember. I've been cheated on, lied to, left for no good reason at all, and called twice in the last few years by ex-boyfriends who are getting married. And they called to tell me that. I've dabbled in some online dating, which is where, by freak chance, I came to know one of the Love Bites writers. I'm not out for blood, but you know what they say, "what goes around, comes around."

Recently, I had a moment of weakness and rejoined a dating website. That lasted a week. I’ll tell you why.

I was pretty blunt about what I was looking for on my profile. I don’t want to date a slacker, a surfer, or a Starbucks barista. Is that really asking too much? Well, perhaps my honesty was my strongest and weakest point. I received over 800 “views” in that week, and approximately three emails I felt even warranted a response.

One gentleman, who seemed decent looking, educated, and employed, contacted me, so I emailed back.

He then asked to call me, because he preferred to talk than email. I was ok with that (note: I am still in my optimistic state of dating website renewal). We talked on Sunday afternoon, and agreed to meet on Thursday of that week. I had proposed Tuesday so that I could meet him and decide quickly if he was worth my time, but he shot that down. Thursday it was.

On Tuesday—my originally proposed meet date—he sent me a text in the afternoon. It was a picture. Of himself. Flying his Cessna. To Catalina.

Are you kidding me?

Not only was I not impressed, but what the hell? I talked to the guy once, and all of a sudden, he is updating me on every move he makes? Text: lunch on Catalina! Text: Catalina as I left it (picture, again). Um, excuse me, but I don’t even know you. And this was the day you couldn’t meet, because you had a date with YOURSELF?

Did I mention he told me he had been on that dating website for two-and-a-half years?!

I responded, politely, “fun day!”

The texts kept coming over the course of the evening and into Wednesday. I waited until the very last minute on Thursday to cancel our date. Especially considering I had gotten a text every morning that said, “Good morning, beautiful. Happy [fill in day].” Really? What do I even say to that? Oh wait, “I’VE NEVER MET YOU SO STOP TEXTING ME.”

The best one was (with an accompanying picture of himself, of course), “drinking coffee by the coast, hard life! LOL.” Oh, come on!

Needless to say, he kept on with the texts. I actually did have plans the next couple nights, so I legitimately couldn’t meet up with him, but at this point, I had already decided I didn’t want to meet him. The last text came in about 10 days after we never met, and I just deleted it.

Am I a bitch? No, but he certainly didn’t go about “pursuing” me in the right way. So men, don’t go crazy with the texts…especially if we’ve never met. If you want to see me, call me, ask nicely, and leave it at that. This isn’t a basketball game. Your self-righteous texts aren’t worth two points. They’re not even worth one.
Cheers!
Queen of Mean

Cultural Differences

Whether we would like to admit it or not, we are all a product of the environment we grew up in. Our political view, religious belief and marital dreams are typically an example of our upbringing.
Like my parents I am a democrat. I am half Jewish, half Catholic. The last time I was in a temple was my Bat Mitzvah. I couldn't tell you when any religious holiday is or what it stands for, except Hanukkah and Christmas (selfishly it's all about the gifts). I have been in a church three times in my life for a total of one hour.
I played with G.I. Joe and Transformer toys when I was a child. I never had a Barbie doll, but I liked Rainbow Brite.
I've had the same last name for the last twenty-nine years and I don't intend to change it if I'm married. I have no desire to be a soccer mom or Stepford wife. Maybe one day if the timing is right I will get married, but it's not a priority and assuming there is a nanny involved I would like to have children one day.

The reason I bring up family and traditions is because I recently met a seemingly wonderful man. He was kind, affectionate, caring, generous, close to his family, was self employed, owned property, cars and was supposedly debt free.
He was born and raised in Europe and only moved to America six years ago. I have never dated a foreigner and was naive to the cultural differences and traditional beliefs. Which after spending more time with him became major turn offs. In addition to his serious case of OCD, belief that no woman can make his coffee the correct way, use of a handicap parking permit for no reason other than laziness, liked to gamble a lot and always started unnecessary arguments with wait staff.
Normally all these personality differences would have been the end all, but what actually turned me off the most was his family beliefs and traditional view towards marriage and kids.
Marriage was a mandatory for him. Ideally in the next year. Kids were an absolute. The husband is the head of the household and makes all the final decisions. While the wife stays at home with the kids and cleans and basically has to ask permission to drive the family car and is given a weekly salary which I have a feeling does not allow for Jimmy Choos.
There was also a long list of things I adored about him. But, the more I thought about it and the life I would be signing up for I realized it wasn't a life I ever wanted and why I even allowed myself to imagine it is a question for my therapist. So in the end it turns out I wasn't questioning the meaning of his 'maybe' response, but rather my own. Which ultimately turned into a 'no.'
Kate

Yes, No, Maybe and Everything In Between

To judge someone from just the exterior and a few hours together over dinner or even just a couple dates isn't always the smartest choice either. At least that is what I would like to think.
I'm big into second chances these days. Sometimes people really are just having a bad day or in some cases have had a few too many drinks and they aren't the happiest of drunks.
I also believe that there is a reason for every obstacle we come across. It was during one of my recent conquests that I stumbled upon a detour. The younger version of me would have continued down the new road without thinking twice, but the older and seemingly less wiser version while intrigued with the possibility of being the exception was far more cautious and for good reason it would seem.
Does 'maybe' ever mean 'yes'?
Kate

Everything Ain't What It Seems

You will come to realize nothing lasts forever. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. Friends will disappear when you need them the most. Strangers will become acquaintances and if you allow people into your life you might be happily surprised when they help mend a broken heart.
Jump out of a plane. Fly across the country on a whim. Let the world gently guide you. But, remember this doesn't allow the words of those around you to change your future.
You will fall down more often than not. You will love and be loved. You will be disappointed at times and it's more likely that you will fail miserably than reach the top.
Be open to change. Be open to the unknown. Don't follow your heart if it only gets you buried alive. Follow your dream even if everyone bets against you. One day you will wake up and be laughing.
Kate

Exceptions

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

Is life all a matter of timing? and if you meet someone and have a connection how far would you travel for the possibility of love?

Losing it all is the easy part. Knowing when to walk away is the hard part. If we are willing to gamble away our hearts on a whim why do we so carelessly throw away what might be because of a sour first impression?
Are we too quick to judge someone based just from a brief conversation? Yet, to embarassed to admit our shame because our ego and pride are too big.

It's funny what you can learn about a person when you cross the line between strange and stranger. Some people come into our lives to push us to the next level. Use their knowledge to your advantage and absorb all you can. Their words will stay with you long after they are gone. We guard our hearts and make up seemingly ridiculous dating rules thinking that a glass heart is better than a shattered one.

As we close one chapter and start a new one we are reminded that the past no matter how deep we pack it away will never be forgotten. That shadows of our former reflection are mimicked in our new collection. That just when we think the ghosts have settled in six feet under, Freddy returns in a new body. The only difference is now we laugh instead of fear.
Kate

Two of a Kind

Last week I posted an email that was sent to me second hand by a guy I had started chatting with on an online dating site. Prior to receiving the message from the roommate I was thinking this guy seemed like a great catch. (If I've lost you - read the blog titled "Disclosure") Successful, funny, good looking and adventurous. Basically everything I am looking for if I was in the market for a relationship. (Which I still am) Of course I think this about 3 out of 5 guys every day online.
But, after reading the email it wasn't what the roommate wrote that shocked me so much, but rather what the guy wrote. There were a few lines that made me think there might be truth and reason for the date to be pissed off. But, what really puzzled me was why I had been the chosen recipient of the hilarious rant.
There was mention to a fancy sports car and a "super cool" home. Seemed more like the roommate and/or date were jealous, but then again maybe that was the point of him showing off his assets. A Honda would have worked just as well for transportation and probably would have saved gas money. But, I highly doubt an Accord would have the same "wow" factor of a Maserati or the chick magnet feature. So to say that you bought it just for the quality and craftsmanship is a lie.
Which got me thinking about material possessions and why as a society we are so money obsessed. Why are women willing to max out their credit cards to own the latest designer "it" bag or be a walking billboard for a brand? Is this any different that a man buying a flashy car or a big house?
First impressions will get you in the door. But, what happens when someone calls your bluff?
Kate

The Glass House

It's easy to summarize a person with a blink and 99% of the time your first impressions are correct. You can tell a lot about a person just by the way they dress, what type of car they drive, where they live, what they do for a living. But, if you judge a book by it's cover you might miss out on a fabulous journey.
If you have nothing to lose, you have everything to gain. If you expect the unexpected and over think every word on the back cover you will miss out on the enjoyment of the unknown. Maybe the people who appear to have it all are the ones falling apart inside. Maybe the price of a ticket really is worth the price of happiness, when you live in a glass house.
Kate

Dating Blows

I HATE DATING!! Clearly I wasn't wired like most people. Especially those on dating sites. I seriously don't get texting. It's the most retarded invention when your conversations are "Hi. How are you?" "What are you doing?" "Good morning" "Good night" I don't get the fun in this. Send my a freakin email or better yet pick up the damn phone you are texting me from and dial the phone on the screen and have a real conversation with words that are more than four letters.
I didn't sign up to play wheel of fortune. I shouldn't be playing a guessing game trying to figure out what you are saying in chicken scratch.
Dating sounds about as fun as going to the dentist's and yet I'm going on a long weekend date with a nameless man because I think it might be fun. Why is it that the good guys who you know will treat you like a princess and never break your heart are so god damn BORING? and the mysterious JSR's so appealing as a rebellious saint?
Kate

Life Well Lived

From the beginning of the blog, we have all shared stories of lust, love, newfound relationships, and lost loves. Today I have written a little something different to allow people to understand my thought process a little better. I have said over and over how I almost always get what I want. It isn't anything about being cocky or arrogant; on the other hand, I do whatever it takes to achieve my happiness. I take risks most wouldn't even think about, but second-guessing is not in my nature. I have lived an eventful life and done many things some could only dream about. I have been asked, "What would you do, if you could do anything?" I pondered that question for a while and honestly...I don't have too much I would want to do that I haven’t done already. Without having it all and loosing it, you wouldn't respect what you once had. Many have questioned my answers to these types of questions, but after reading this, you can see for yourself why I made the recent decisions I have made. Last week I filed a "do not resuscitate" or "DNR" (a legal order written either in the hospital or on a legal form to respect the wishes of a patient to not undergo CPR or advanced cardiac life support if their heart were to stop or they were to stop breathing. This request is usually made by the patient or health care power of attorney and allows the medical teams taking care of them to respect their wishes).

In order for you to understand my decision, I have written a few reasons as to "why”:

I have lived in over 7 different countries including Africa, Philippines, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Germany, Hawaii and a few others I don't really remember. I have been on a REAL safari, been chased by the most venomous snakes in the world (black/green momba), actually seen "monkey in a high chair" (Google this), had a few local monkeys as friends, eaten with a few presidents (U.S and others), killed a king cobra, as well as drank his blood/venom mixture (a ritual performed after the snake loses to the mongoose in the black market. Known to give supernatural powers to anyone, for life). Seen people hung and killed in the streets (during a coup), met real tribe members, had black magic, voodoo, and Santeria curses put upon me, ridden a elephant, camel, stallion, emu, donkey, turtle and a few big girls I'd rather not talk about Hahaha j/k. I have caught and eaten my own food from all around the world, been in numerous natural disasters (hurricanes, typhoons, monsoons, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and sand storms) and even a few bombing attacks and shootings. I have learned over 4 languages (while living there, but forgot now). I have seen that money does grow on trees (depending what type you grow and sell), broken numerous bones (told I would never walk the same again), won over 25 gold, silver, and bronze medals, was in the Olympics and took home Gold and bronze for the U.S, had a few hole-in-one's, rolled a few perfect strikes, ridden or driven about everything known to man, and have owned about 25% of them. Had over a million dollars of assets at the age of 25, lost $250,000 in one day, and made $150,000 in a day as well. Money is SHIT!! It comes and goes...Some "try" to impress me with it, but once you've had it, it doesn’t impress me much. In no way am I trying to brag, I am just trying to point out the reasons for my recent decisions. This list could go on for months, and my stories are plentiful. I have been in a commercial, on live TV, met many famous people, tried some drugs, sold some drugs, grew some pot, got straight A's in school, got some F's as well, got arrested, been to jail, passed the test to become a cop (but didn't want to because it wasn't me), only had one job since high school, been successful and well as not, owned many pets, done 90% of dares put upon me, out ran a cop in a corvette (as well as a mustang), been surfing, white water rafting, cliff diving, bungee jumping, rock climbing, sky diving, flew a plane, raced numerous boats, been 124 mph on the water, been 170 mph on the road, swam with sharks( wrestled a few as well), fell 100 ft from a tree and didn't break a bone (branches broke my fall), seen a live birth, saw someone die, been paid for sex, paid for sex, had threesomes (not as good as they sound), dated sisters, as well as twins, flew to a different state for lunch, been to another country on a boat, been hit by lightening on a plane, lost an engine on a plane as well. Met the astronauts who died when the space shuttle exploded (on my flight a few days before), saw OJ Simpson with a glove on and it fit (cooking some BBQ at his house), had a private tour of the White House, been chased by a bear, seen beetles a foot long, and stung my numerous insects. Swam with wild dolphins and manatees, been in love, lost loved ones.
I have done so much and if things ended for me tomorrow, I can really say I lived a satisfied life. Many have questioned me recently, wondering why I have been a little down, but if you stood in my shoes, you would know I am complete! I don't need, or want too much more than what I have done in my past. So when you say it is impossible for me to have checked off everything on my "bucket list" already, you are correct! But not sure if the white picket fence, the kids, and the mini-van are what I need. If you still don't understand my decisions or choices, go ahead and ask me more...I’m sure either I’ve done it, or I'm not interested.
Its not that I want something to happen to me, it's just that I am 90% complete and not too much that I haven’t done. Some may never understand, but others may. It all depends on your thoughts on success and fulfillment.
The Man

Dummies Guide To Online Dating

If you are a single woman over the age of thirty most people feel sorry for you and when you go to social functions your love life or lack there of suddenly seems to be everybody's business. Yet if you are a single guy over the age of thirty people automatically assume that something is wrong with you. Is this a far and accurate assumption? Probably not, but as I'm discovering looks can be very deceiving and if a person seems to good to be true on paper, immediately hit the escape button because it's not such a perfect life after all. Don't be fooled by the situation abs, killer resume or pretty woman fluff.
When browsing thru the online dating directory, remember that first impressions are especially important here and while you can easily narrow down your top ten list it is important to double check key comments listing what the matches are looking for. Follow your gut feeling, but try not to interrogate the poor guy.
For example, if a guy is 39 and is seeking women 18-29, this is a warning sign that the guy probably has some issues. If a guy is specifically seeking a woman who makes less money than them, again a warning sign. If a guy calls you sweetie or any other baby name after just one date or even after a few dates this is not cute, it's disturbing and for me a deal breaker. If a guy doesn't return your call or email within three days, not cool but not horrible. Unless someone died, if it's been a week and still no communication end it cold turkey. It doesn't take more than a second to say hi. Is that really asking for too much?
Kate

Disclosure

I joined an online dating site a month ago with the goal of meeting "the one", but let's be honest that's asking for a lot more than a thirty-dollar membership could ever provide.
It's much easier to meet eligible single men in a cattle call of sorts. There are so many seemingly great guys on these sites that unless you meet in person within the first 48 hours you probably won't ever meet. Surprisingly the same fear of growing old alone that women in their mid to late thirties have is the same for many men as well. FYI guys it's not at all appealing. Suck it up; enjoy being single and not having to split your assets. Desperation is not sexy.
When it comes to disclosing this blog to new acquaintances I fear the backlash and misunderstand of my written words, especially the posts from the old days when we were posting multiple times a day and our blogs were more a bashing of all things men. Not exactly the best first date conversation. The other day I started talking to a guy who happens to be in the blogging world and has made a successful career in the online arena. I was intrigued by his businesses and as a blogger myself I thought it would be a good conversation icebreaker so I let him in on my sorta secret life here.
He didn't immediately run away, but the next morning I got this email.

Subject line: The most awesome display of female rage I may have ever seen

Kate,

Given your blog, I couldn't help but send this to you. Am I that out of touch with the times that I'm unaware that a simple "thank you" is no longer required?

Two days ago, I went on a first date with a girl who seemed nice enough. The odd thing was that when I paid for our dinner and drinks, she didn't bother to say thank you...and for me, that was kind of a put off. Don't know why (I should have know better), but I wrote her afterwards what I thought was a polite email saying why I wouldn't be calling again so that I didn't just leave her hanging and wondering why I never called on what she probably thought was a decent date (when leaving, she asked me to call her again).

The response was so utterly mind-blowing and hilarious, that I just couldn't help but share it. Rather ironic that teacher didn't bother to spell-check her own hate-male full of insults, huh?

This is what I sent to her to unleash the tidal way of rage you are about to read below (from her unemployed roommate, no less)

Hi Erica,

Thanks for coming out with me last night. I wanted to give you some feedback, instead of just leaving you wondering why I didn't call you again.

At the start of our date, you made it clear that you could easily afford your rent without your roommate. Then, when it came time to pay for our meal, not only did you not bother to OFFER to chip in, you didn't even say thank you after I dropped $50 on our date.

I wasn't going to bother writing to tell you this, but as this was a monstrous turn-off, I thought you might like to know so you don't do it to the next guy.

That aside you seemed like a very nice girl, so it’s a shame that you don't feel the need to contribute financially to your entertainment; especially on the very first date.

Ben

PS. If you are going to reply with all sorts of nasty stuff, please don't bother, as I'm not trying to start an argument. Instead, I thought it was possible that you weren't even aware of this rather unattractive behavior.

This is what her roommate sent me....WOW!

Ben,
This is Erica's roommate, Nancy. I wanted to write this to you because your email was pretty upsetting. Clearly, a gentleman you are not.

Number one, "feedback"? Are you a professor of dating? This confuses me as I am a teacher, and feedback is what I give when I get a poorly written essay. Unless you are an authority (i.e. two English degrees) on a subject, offering feedback is condescending and arrogant.

Two, just because Erica makes a good living (as do I--yes, teachers make a nice salary!), NEVER justifies a GENTLEMAN even assuming for a split second that a woman would pay for a first date. EVER. Pick up a an etiquette book, a copy of Esquire, TURN ON THE DAMN EVENING NEWS, hell, ask a homeless guy; MEN pay for dates. Always.

Two and half, $50? The fact that you would even tell her the amount of the bill, on top of assuming she would split it with you, well...really? I go out with guy friends who ALWAYS pay--and would never let me see the bill amount.

Three, a "monstrous" turnoff? That's a big word for someone who didn't have the balls to pay for the bill willingly, and then invite a girl in to watch a movie, thus continuing your date. On top of that, Erica DROVE TO YOU. That etiquette book you need to buy, it would tell you that YOU drive to a where a girl lives, and/or pick her up. Again, obviously no one taught you how to be a gentleman. Hence, you are 41 and single. Who are you to again offer wisdom on what she should not "do...to the next guy.”?

Four, it's a "shame" that she didn't "feel the need" to pay? Are you for real? Are you an illusion, a hologram, a woman inside of a man's body? You are so hung up on money it makes me want to actually punch you in the nuts and decidedly eliminate the possibility that a jerk like you could procreate!

Your attempt at an intellectual retort to an impromptu date that YOU arranged is embarrassing, and ample proof why you are single.

Also, you live in South Beach, right? That's gay. Are you 19? Do you like beer pong? Getting high? Do you regularly "get down" at the Typhoon Saloon? And you own a cat? Oh dear Jesus! And you drive a Lotus? Did the doctor botch your circumcision and just cut your penis off?

You are not an "optimist" as your introduction says. No word of what you wrote would indicate to any person on earth with half a brain that you think positively about anything.

Your email made me sad. Not for you, but for any other girl you end up going out with. Maybe you should just apologize in advance to everyone who comes to meet you at your cool home in SB, you giant pussy.

In the time it took me to write this, I think I may have actually lost brain cells. Enjoy your single life in your cat hair-covered bed sheets.

You're lucky I wrote this, because Erica wanted to take out a full-page ad in the local paper warning all the single girls about douche bags like you. Really, she's got the money.

Next time you go to buy cat food in SOUTH BEACH, think about why you're buying CAT FOOD in SOUTH BEACH at 41-years-old. Wow, that sentence just blew my mind.

Actually, I feel like I need to take a shower now. You disgust me, and women everywhere should be warned about "men" like you.

If you would like to respond, you can email ME. Erica only shared this with me because she could not believe her eyes when this email came in. And being that I am her friend, I felt the need to respond, and break down your phenomenally weak argumentative email.

Hugs,
Nancy


Where do I begin...I'm no Oprah or Judge Judy, but I guess I should be partly flattered and partly confused by being sent this email, especially given the subject line. My words were not sugar coated and my honesty in regards to the bizarre conversation may not have been what he wanted to hear, but hey I'd rather know now that we aren't a good match.
Kate