Back to Never

Why do you have to be so mean and jump to conclusions that are absolutely false? It's not fair. I didn't say anything and because of my silence you want to punish me? There are two sides to every story. In this case neither is completely innocent. If I was afraid I won't be subjecting myself to the daily torture. What more can I say? It's no longer up to me. The ball is in your court. Think wisely before making your decision it may haunt you forever.
I can picture my life many years from now and you are there. But, if I close my eyes and daydream some more the picture becomes blurry and the voices fade out.
So once again I'm going to sleep alone and confused. It maybe Thanksgiving and I am thankful for everything I have and for the health of my family, but tomorrow is just another day. Today is an excuse to stop thinking about the problems that lie in wait on the road ahead. But, you won't let me forget the pain or the betrayal. You keep throwing it in my face. I get it!! Seriously stop!! It's not helping us more forward and there is nowhere to run back to.
Is never best? Will that make all the problems melt away? I'm starting to not care anymore. The tug of war is giving me rug burn. I want the fuck out of the haunted house. You are falling for the trap. Don't you see? This is exactly what he wanted to happen. But, don't think for second that there was a happy reunion. Don't talk to me like I'm a freshman in the business. I may not be at your level, but that doesn't mean I don't have a clue.
So think what you want. Make claims that are false. Just one request, if you are going to write the next chapter of my life give me a clue about what to expect. If you had the guts to speak your mind before why is it suddenly impossible to say a word?
Kate