I know there is no rulebook for love gone wrong, but I could really use one right now. Talking with my flat mate last night I mentioned that I kinda don’t feel like I was ever married. It just seems like it was a distant dream. But I feel like that is wrong of me. That it should all still be fresh in my mind. That I should still be upset that it is over. It was only three months ago that he pulled the rug out from under me. Shouldn’t the wounds still be open and painful?
On most days I feel awesome. I am happy. I have a new life to create. Is that why I don’t feel the way I think I should? And to confuse me more I met a guy on Saturday night. We had a great time together until he dropped me home Sunday lunchtime (and no I was not the fun girl…). I have not heard from him but that is beside the point. He has got me gushing just at the way he treated me. Complimenting, affectionate etc. It’s been quite some time since I have been treated that way. Even while I was married. It made me feel really good about myself. Like I could be wanted again. That I might have been thrown away by one man but another could treasure me. OK. Going a bit overboard. But am I ready to get back out there again? Surely it’s too soon? Should I just stop questioning it and see what comes naturally? But what seems to be coming naturally is what I’m questioning.
Damn I need a rulebook…
Aussie Gal
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