One Is The Loneliest Number

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one

No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
`Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number, worse than two" - Three Dog Night

Once again I find myself in a not so pleasant situation. I thought everything would magically work out, instead my poor choice of words has gotten me into a huge mess. I wish I could go back and erase, but I can't. I feel as if I was playing a game of musical chairs and when the music finally stopped I was the only one left standing. There once were two and now there are none. For the best I must believe. I had been intoxicated by the dream and now I was in rehab to numb the pain.
One really is the loneliest number, but at least when you finally are alone you can't royally fuck up anymore. I have always gone straight from one relationship to the next without a break. But, I need to be alone, I feel like I'm drowning when I allow people to get close. Yet, once they leave I miss their company. How could I so stupidly be thinking about up rooting my life for a sliver of a chance at something that might never be? If I go it's for me and no one else, but maybe now I have an endless selection of destinations instead of just one narrow minded one.
Life will go on and I will continue to learn as I go. I will remember fondly the happy moments and attempt to forget the bitter ending.
Kate