Love & Life Q & A

Ok, I’m back...I haven't really had anything of quality to write about recently, but after some readers wrote a few questions, I wanted to give my perspective to their situations. These answers may not be correct, but I can relate to many of you as well. So let me give this a try and see how it goes.

(1). Cheating on your significant other with your same sex. What’s your view on how that affects the relationship? [[I.e. girl cheats on guy with another girl while stone drunk]] Well...let me start by saying I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITH THE SAME SEX NOR WILL I EVER. But I can relate to exactly what happened, plus adding more to it. Here goes a few stories that happened to me: I dated two different girls on two different occasions (a few yrs apart), they were close friends, and both knew I had dated the other. Years later we were all at a party together and one of them mentioned "I was wondering if you would do me a favor. I know you dated @%*%^$ and we dated as well, but I would love to be with her too. Would you want to help me get with her by doing a threesome?"...It took me weeks to think over this offer. NAA, It didn't even take me a second!!! Hell yeah!! Every guys dream! So we did it, but many issues came up. If you think these things work perfectly you are incorrect! They sound fun, but they never work out how you dream them. One says you're giving the other too much attention; the other wants things different, and so on. I will elaborate at a different time maybe. The whole process was fun to me, but after the event, neither of the two girls were as close friends as before.
Second story: I once dated a girl who I knew was bisexual. When I first met her, I thought it was cool to watch (and kind of turned me on) but as time went on, it was actually cheating and hurt. I knew what I was getting into when we first got together, but after time, I really liked her and it sucked! It was unfair and when I said "you can do it, why cant I?" it seems it was a one-way road. I would assume the only way this would work is if you didn't really give a shit about them, which happened later.
Third and very important: THE THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IF SOBER. These bisexual thoughts came to you way before this night, and you actually used the "stone drunk" for an acceptable excuse. Let me ask all the women this: have you ever heard you're boyfriend say this [WARNING EXTREME LANGUAGE USED TO PROVE A POINT] Boyfriend says” when watching a football game while STONE DRUNK I reached for the bag of chips and my buddy moved the bag and I grabbed his cock instead...then while holding his cock, he started sucking me off and I slipped, and his hard dick went in my ass.........HELL NO!!! No guy would ever do gay shit if he hasn't thought about it before!!!! So by saying you were drunk, was your way of feeling better. Sorry but true. We tend to do things we have always had in our minds and let out inhibitions loose.

Next: what are your views on breaking up with someone and still remaining friends? Is that possible? This is a question only you could answer. It depends on your feeling towards this person, and theirs to you. I have done it many times and actually have a ton of ex's on my Facebook. We talk frequently, hang out from time to time, and think we are closer now than when we dated. I have once found that you can judge someone through how their relationship is towards their ex's. No one I have dated hates me. Well, maybe a few, but I talk to 80% of them on a friendly level.

Falling head over heals for a guy you have so much in common with after knowing him for 2months and him liking you the way you like him but he has a girlfriend with a crumbling relationship. : 3 what about that... Ha-ha. This is my love life. Teehee. Another question is should I wait for him or not... D: there are a few things wrong with this...first: how did you two become that close if he is dating someone? Think about that. Would you want to wait for someone who spends time with another person while you are dating? Another thing is that guys tend to tell women "my relationship sucks, she doesn’t do this, or that, hoping you would think what's wrong with her? When in fact he created this whole pity party to get closer to you". After he sleeps with you, his intentions will shift. Do not ever wait for a guy who is in a relationship! If he really wants to be with you, and only you, he would break up with her. Give him an ultimatum, ether you break up with her, or I am not going to hang out until you do.

What about a boy and a girl who have been friends practically since birth but somewhere along the line the boy falls in love with the girl. Only he doesn't tell her. However he does start making passes at her when they are old enough to date. He holds her hand and even tries to kiss her but she never always shies away. She feels obligated to hold his hand because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. However, she makes it clear that she doesn't like him in that way. He is very persistent. Finally when she tells him that it's not going to happen he tries to make it seem like she was leading him on. Then he feels the need to make all of his facebook posts about love and relationships, bashing girls and the like. Well, I don’t know the whole story and how far things have gone between the two of you, but you did lead him on a little. I know you feel bad, but giving in shows you care. Guys try and try until either something happens, or it doesn’t. The reason he is bashing you is because he was truly hurt. Many of us, when hurt, want others to feel the pain we feel as well. If you don’t want him that way, just don’t give in....EVER!

This one touched me the most:
I cry my self to sleep to. I wish life wasn’t hard, why dose it have to be hard? Why cant we all be skinny and live in huge mansions and have fast cars. A life with out being judged by what u where or how much you weigh. But no I can’t be beautiful or skinny I can’t get a pair of shoes whenever I want. People seem to not care if they say something bad to someone like "your fat" "your ugly" "your a loser" no one cares. I want to stand up to bullies and preppy queen bees. These are some of the reasons I cry oh and when your grandparents and parents call you fat. Ha I'm crying right now. This is for the people who feel what I feel to know how it crushes you. I'm done...Wow! I was pissed when I read this! Not at you but at the way some people judge others. I am going to try to write a whole post dedicated to you. You are not alone and I can honestly say I have been on both sides of this spectrum. Keep your head up, and know you are a better person than those who post judgments upon others. If you ever want to stand up to these losers, call me. I have your back!

Dating a married guy? Why? And he will never leave the wife... No matter how much "p" you put on him! All it does is mess with you emotions and damages your self-esteem. I finally let mine go after three years.... Don't know what took me so long. Now I'm sorry and ashamed for dating a married man, but am happy that I finally realized "he" did not make me happy I make me happy. I will be ok! Scenarios like this happen all the time. If you give him what he wants, he will never have a reason to leave her. Sometimes people do leave their significant others, but rarely if they are getting what they want without having to make a choice. And I must ask: why would you even want to wait for a piece of crap that cheats? He will do it to you as well!

Girl likes guy, guy likes different girl, and first girl has been a friend with the guy forever. Guy won’t even tell first girl the name of the second girl. 1st girl is pissed, friendship of 10years ruined, all because of the name of a girl he liked. Let me ask: what is so important of knowing her name? I would assume that you want to know to either say something, or sabotage their relationship. Just because you were friends forever doesn’t mean he must tell you everything. The fact that he is protecting her name tells me he is a good guy. He likes her and doesn’t want you to get in the way.... We look forever for someone to be with, let him be happy! I know you are hurt, but move on, he really likes her. I am sure he will tell you one day.

I could give my perspective all day long, and even write a blog on each, but there are always three sides to every story. (Yours, his & the truth) many of us are judgmental when hearing stories from our friends when something is going wrong in their relationships. Rarely do we hear everything, but we sure do choose sides. I enjoyed reading your comments/questions and if there were any other topics you wanted my perspective, I would be glad to give it.
The Man