Pallbearer

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. The old aren't supposed to outlive their offspring, yet it seems like the young are dying more often. We hope to live forever even thou it's not possible, we assume tomorrow will always come and we never think that today might be the end.
Having now been to three funerals in less than six months, all of whom died way too soon and unexpectedly I have come to believe in nothing and trust no one.
I don't believe in God or a higher being, for if there was a God why would he or she kill the young and not just sacrifice one person, but destroy or damage the lives and history of generations to come? Is it as Charles Darwin said, the weeding out of the less suited organisms and the reward of survival to those better suited to success in the world? If this is true then why even bring these people into the world if in the end their deaths continue to haunt the living? Or is it that as a result of their tragic death that the loved ones around them wake up and change their lives?
My aunt who passed away back in March of lung cancer she was fifty-three. She was not aware she was terminally ill until just weeks prior to death and perhaps this was for the best as she was able to be normal and enjoy what time she had left. One could argue that had she been aware months prior of her terminal condition perhaps she would seen or done new things. Her older daughter is now pregnant with her first child who oddly enough is expected to be born the week my aunt died. Is this part of the circle of life and in a way turning a death into a happy occasion with the birth of a child?
Then there was the sudden death of a childhood friend's father, he had pancreatic cancer and was also fifty-three. He left behind two daughters both in their late twenties.
This week came the worst one, the passing of a family friend; he would have been twenty-one next weeks. I don't think anyone is ever ready to deal with the death of a loved one, as the physical void of this person is a permanent reminder of a life once lived and an emotional prison. The death of one will forever alter the lives of so many others and in its wake the constant reminder of careless actions will never die.
Kate
(Yes, yes I know what I said earlier and now I'm officially off duty.)