Ring Leader

I'm starting to think that there really is some truth to karma and fate and how once you confront your ghost; the pieces of the puzzle begin to fall into place. As soon as the emotional weight of wonder and frustration that I had been carrying around for the last nine months was lifted I was able to move past the trauma and drama and watch as the mystery of my life was revealed.
Back in April, I encouraged Summer to start this blog, I even set it up and I quickly saw how freeing writing had become so I joined the bandwagon. Along the way we picked up a bachelor called The Man and over eleven hundred Love Bites groupies. So surreal, to think that just a few months ago I was a solo army on an unknown mission to make peace with my past and get some sweet revenge. In celebration of this minor victory against all the JSRs in the world, we thought it would be a fabulous idea to host a party. The Man has dubbed it the "Love Bites Love Connection" (cheesy yes, but sometimes being cheesy is charming and hilarious) and I've been named the ringleader. What fun would life be if you can't make fun of yourself and enjoy the company of other like-minded and free spirited souls.
I read a quote the other day by one of my favorite poets, Ralph Waldo Emerson, that said, “For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” It stuck with me and got me to thinking about how I got here, typing on this keyboard and confessing all my secret thoughts and poor life decisions to anyone and everyone in cyberspace. I believe everything happens for a reason, yet the significance and purpose of each event and action is the mystery of life. Once we realize what for, we laugh and wonder why we didn't put it together earlier.
In the back of my mind for the last couple years I've had a pipe dream to write a book, what about I wasn't sure. I haphazardly started writing down bits and pieces of a possible story last year. From the beginning, JSR had always been at the core of the fragmental story lines. But, I wasn't sure how the story should be told and then the JSR bomb hit and I found the only way to come to terms with what was an uncontrollable situation was to write. I quickly realized that unless I had a forced modification or obligation to write on a daily basis I would often procrastinate. Knowing that there were people waiting for me to write something witty and meaningful has become my motivation and well it certainly seems to be working, almost hundred combined entries. As soon as I started writing down all my thoughts and feelings and disclosing them on a blog the pieces quickly starting forming. That's the thing about dreams, when you least expect it they start to come true. The funny thing is if it weren’t for JSR’s juvenile behavior and desires to reconnect with me I doubt I would be fulfilling this dream. It's true for every thing you gain, you loss something along the way. Yet, it was a result of the pain inflected by the former that would later cause the future serendipitous path.
When I look back on my life to date, I now understand the meaning for many of my choices. Why I ever bought the pair of leopard leggings I'll never know, but I have always believed that when someone reenters your life there is a significant reason why. Had JSR left the past to rest, as I had none of this would have happened. I'm so glad life threw me this curveball, of course getting to this happy place has been a battle, but it was well worth the wait.
Kate Harper