Calm After The Storm

For months, I had been wondering when I would have that "ahh" moment and what I would feel like after. For the first time in a long time, I'm at peace with the world, with the past. As if, who I was prior to now never existed. Of course, I know this isn't possible. The memories I have are from past events and interactions with people who were merely figments of my imagination these days. I have removed myself mentally from certain historical moments in my timeline, but emotionally I will always be tied to those defining days.
There is a calming feeling from finally being able to let go of the ghost and to feel nothing after locking the monster back into his cage. I had my final therapy session last week, in the midst of the heated war of words. As I sat there, telling her comments that the wife and JSR and company made I was laughing and so was she. I felt nothing, no pain, no remorse, and just pure happiness. Something I had been trying so desperately to reach for the last nine months and yet all it took was a childish and slandering remark from someone I once called a friend and I got it, I had my "ahh" moment. I had been the lucky one. The one that was able to walk away with dignity and pride.
I find myself laughing more these days. While a part of me is now even more confused and hurt, I no longer care. That's the thing about finding your new place in the world and realizing how far you have come and not only how much stronger you are, but how fabulous your true friends are when negative people try to break you down with false accusations and unknown pretenses.
So, now I look forward to returning to the place I have called my second home for so many years. The ghosts no longer haunt me and the land of the living has so much more to offer. One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.
Sublime Happiness of a Guarded Heart (aka MV, Kate and now Kate Harper)