Last night I had a feeling I was to blame for M's leaving. Was I out of line for the things I said? Was I too hard on her? Should I have sugar coated it a little? Well, the honest truth is I really have no idea. I am just one guy, I do not have all the answers, and I'm sure many men think differently than me too. I have had dating experiences like you all have, but what gives me the right to tell people what they have done wrong?? NOTHING! I am as imperfect as you, with troubled past and problems dating. I am happy to have been allowed to share, but not sure if I am doing more harm than good. Were some of the things I've said or stated wrong? I'm sure some things were. If you had the chance to explain something or tell someone something and you knew if would hurt their feelings, would you?
Many have stated they want the truth even if it hurts. Well, let me ask you a few questions: Would you really want to know your boobs were too small? that your lovemaking skills sucked? Everything you cooked tasted horrible? your new haircut really looks bad on you?, that new expensive outfit makes you look fat? That you were the smallest she has ever had? your breath was terrible? Well, there are so many more questions like this, but in all honestly, some things are better left unsaid.
We are all different in many ways. Some of us like brunettes, some like blonds, some like big boobs, some like none, (well not really none), some like "thick", and some like thin. We all have our preferences, likes and dislikes. Why do most of us go to the same things that have failed us for so long? Maybe we need to venture out of our comfort zone from time to time and try something new. I saw this quote last night..." I think sometimes we spend so much time trying to make the wrong person right for us, that the right one never has a chance to find us". This is so very true! Why do we dwell on the past? Our past mistakes? And something that will never be what we thought it once was. "Maybe it's true that we don't know what we've lost til it's gone, but it's also true we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives." Two quotes to think about...It's a long weekend ahead of us have fun, be safe, and good luck out there.
The Man
To answer your question, YES, the brutal truth is better, at least it gives the person the chance to correct it or at least a chance to choose and leave you if they want to. It might not be what we want to hear, but the right one will see what you see, and if they don't then move on... but then again there has to be some love involved not just attraction.
ReplyDeleteVery well stated.I also want to hear the truth, but I think there are ways around telling everything, that wont crush someone as well. We tend to say hurtful things at times when we are hurt ourselves.It in no way makes us a better person to say those things, but at times, makes us feel like we got our "payback" for being hurt as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks again.
The Man