The Brutal Truth

Sometimes I think we need a smack of the brutal truth. But, I'll be honest I'm not a happy camper right now. I can understand most of your answers and I appreciate you taking the time to reply. In regards to the question of him flying to see me in NY, honestly I don't recall there ever being a discussion about him visiting me there. I hate the cold so I was always more than happy to visit him in Florida. For the most part I wasn't just going to visit him. I needed a vacation and his place was free to stay at. I gave him nearly three years to say something like "Be my girlfriend or I love you." I repeatedly asked him what he wanted from me and he always said "no strings, no baggage." This was all before John came into the picture. After hearing this line long enough I suppose a part of me gave up on him and me long before I met John. What was I suppose to do? I would have preferred to have him in my life as a friend if nothing more. I enjoyed our relationship pre sex and harry met sally. To your question did we have sex that first night, yes, we had built up to that night for over a year. So going with your idea that from the first night we meet he only thought of me as a friend with benefits, why would he introduce me to his siblings, buy me gifts, etc. I do believe, from the little he spoke about his current marriage, that our relationships and values were very different. Then again I am very different from the wife in nearly every way expect looks. She looks very similar to me but fourteen years older. So then when the wife said to me "JSR has told me so much about you." What did he tell her and what happened in fifteen minutes that made her rethink our friendship? Another question say all of this is true and that the only reason he tried to reconnect with me was to possibly start affair #2, which I made very clear from the start was not an option anymore, why can't he answer my question of why? Furthermore for someone who supposedly was so anti commitment, how come every other woman he ever dated appeared to be a serious relationship to the point that he lived with them and then ofcourse there is the marriage and kids. If that's not a life long commitment I don't know what is. Basically then, every word out of his mouth about commitment and baggage was only a problem with me. So if this is true, why keep coming back into my life?
You don't really think he goes around to all his ex-lovers and introduces them to his wife. So why me? If I am just a friend with benefits, why risk your "perfect picture" over the top in love marriage to see the person who supposedly means nothing and was never GF or wife material? I'm no damsel, I want a man, a real man who isnt afraid to say what he wants.
MV