Monday, April 12, 2010

Betrayal and Sublime Pleasure

The sad reality is that once trust has been damaged it can never simply go back to the way it once was. People who do not value trust enough to respect it in the first place more often than not continue that pattern in the future. Seeing people for who they really are rather than through rose-colored lenses can be a healthy journey.
I find myself in unfamiliar territory these days. I joined Facebook to see what all the hype was about. But, I'm starting to think it's not right for me. People defriend you without an explanation, people you don't know friend you and ghosts have a way of finding you. I am fascinated by the idea that you can reconnect with long lost friends and family and for that purpose alone I think it is a novel concept. But, do I really need to see your Mafia Wars, YoVille, Farmville or other cyber game status? In many ways it's like reliving high school everyday and I didn't particular like my adolescent years. If someone has more friends than you, you become jealous. If someone has fewer friends than you, you feel bad for them. If someone doesn't respond to your email or accept your invitation you wonder what you did wrong. As well as the pressure to come up with a witty yet sophisticated status update and a good headshot.
Writing while incredibly rewarding and calming I'm coming to realize is also forcing me to relive and rethink every detail of the life I once knew. While I know it's a step in the right direction I feel incredibly vulnerable. With each blog post I am letting go of my past and while I am so proud of myself for doing this I am also letting strangers in on my dark thoughts which is a concept I'm still trying to get use to.
The point of this blog is to document a year in our lives by maintaining an open diary time capsule. Michelle and I will be alternating post days. At the same time we will be working on writing a book that is loosely based on our failed relationships and dating adventures.
"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy."
Randomly came across this quote the other day and it's so true.
Happy Monday everyone.
SP

2 comments:

  1. You can hide the game links by clicking on HIDE to the right of the post. So you don't have to see them. People de friend you without explanation in real life too.

    Facebook is not for everyone but personally I have met some wonderful (and some not so wonderful) people there. I have even made one or two whom I would call friends.

    I finally found love when I STOPPED pursuing it. I think that men can sense it when a woman is looking for love.... Or perhaps it is something chemical but I believe that something alerts them to it and there are plenty of men out there who take advantage of that. It's just always best to go slowly and remember if it seems wrong it IS wrong.

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  2. Thanks for the comment. It is all very true. I'm still debating on the facebook account. I'll give it another week and see if I find more caspers or poltergeists.

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